Emotional Van der Haar proudly shares story about his grandfather: "He fought a 4-meter crocodile in Guatemala"

"That's life," says Lars van der Haar finally, after an intense conversation. But of course, it's not always that simple. The 33-year-old Baloise Trek Lions rider went through an emotional rollercoaster over the past week and a half. A period in which his grandfather was suddenly on his deathbed, during which he still participated in two races, his grandfather passed away, and he promptly finished third in Merksplas. Van der Haar was willing to share his story with IDLProCycling.com after the Aardbeiencross.

Van der Haar himself shared the news about his grandfather four days earlier through his official social media. "Rest in peace, dear grandpa. Thank you for all the beautiful memories," he wrote. Such news is always heavy, even within Baloise Trek Lions. "We have a great understanding with each other, and few words are needed to communicate, both on and off the course. When you can do small things for each other, it's done with great pleasure. But this is beyond racing and is not something you often experience," says Thibau Nys when asked.

"Of course, it’s incredibly unfortunate, and in such moments, you can’t do much for the other person," continues Van der Haar’s teammate. "You can only express your condolences and be there for him, and that's difficult. Lars is someone who carries these things with him and needs to be mentally at 100 percent to perform at his best. This is not easy for him, especially in the middle of the season."

Read the interview with Lars van der Haar below the photo.

Van der Haar on his late grandfather:

Condolences, Lars. Let’s start with that.

"Thank you."

You mentioned before the race that you felt like a zombie riding in Lokeren and Niel last weekend. Did you ever consider not starting those races?

"No, because I am a hundred percent sure that if my grandpa had known, he would have told me to race. The hard part was that we got the call on Wednesday (November 6, ed.) that we needed to come and say our goodbyes. I went there, and it felt like seeing someone different than my own grandpa. That was already very difficult, and they said he would pass away within a few days. He fell into a coma and was on morphine, so I had it set in my mind that he would pass away before the weekend and that I could honor his life during the races. Not mourning, but celebrating his life..."

"But that didn't happen, because grandpa kept breathing, and I struggled with that. Strange thoughts, like feeling as if I was riding around in a circus while someone was dying. I couldn’t process that contrast, so I raced in Lokeren and Niel on autopilot. The team knew about it, but I might have come across as negative in interviews. I just couldn’t suppress it. On Tuesday, grandpa finally passed away, and we were all very calm about it."

A week ago, you told my colleague off the record that your grandpa was on his deathbed and that you weren’t ready to talk about it then. Can you now share why he was so ill?

"The terrible thing is that he developed dementia due to brain damage after a fall down the stairs. He didn’t have the best life over the past two and a half years. We did try to visit a few times, but due to cycling, I wasn’t able to do so as often as I wanted. He also lived a bit further away, but I am very glad that every time I took my daughter, he was happy. Sometimes he recognized us, and sometimes he didn’t."

"He was the grandfather from whom we got the sporty side, a man who experienced everything: from the raids in Amsterdam and famine during World War II to literally fighting a 4-meter crocodile in Guatemala, during which a piece of his leg and arm was bitten off, but he survived. After that, he even went on to travel as far as Tibet."

How old was he?

"88. A great age, but life in the last two years hadn't been what you would have wished for him. That's why I said he's at peace now."

I spoke to Thibau, and he was quite moved by it. How were they able to help you?

"Thibau helped me by winning in Lokeren that Sunday. I told him that I couldn’t manage it that day and that I would do everything to give him an opening. That also allowed me to ride calmly behind him afterward. His win was so beautiful to me. Thibau is the kind of guy who gives something back immediately when he sees the chance. That he gave up a podium spot today for my Superprestige classification is really admirable."

Is being back on the podium in Merksplas with a smile a bit of closure?

"Yes, that feels really nice. I had a very difficult week, and I’m not yet feeling completely like myself. But there is a sense of acceptance, like, phew, it’s done, and we can move on. The funeral is on Tuesday, and this is, after all, life. Unfortunately, we all have our turn eventually, but I am someone who wants to take a moment to reflect on that."

Thank you, Lars, and all the best on Tuesday.