Demi Vollering opens up about losing the Tour, panic attacks, and her comeback: "Weighed down by the pressure"

Women's Cycling
Tuesday, 28 January 2025 at 19:06
demi vollering

Demi Vollering is an emotional person — someone who carries her heart on her sleeve, who is not afraid to show the world both her laughter and tears. But during the 2024 Tour de France Femmes, she held back. She lost the yellow jersey due to questionable team tactics and her own overconfidence. Now, months later, she reflects on that experience in an extensive social media post.

The 28-year-old Vollering finished second in the Tour in August, a year after claiming the overall victory. She seemed to be the strongest in the early days, but a crash in stage five changed everything. She went down in the prelude to the finale, stayed down for a long time, and received minimal support from her SD Worx-Protime teammates during the chase. Indeed, her teammate Blanka Vas went on to win the stage.

Vollering lost one minute and 47 seconds to the Hungarian Vas and even more to Kasia Niewiadoma, who entered the final weekend with a solid lead. Despite Vollering’s victory on the dramatic final day atop Alpe d’Huez, she fell just four seconds short of Niewiadoma in the overall standings, feeling utterly defeated by her failure to retain the yellow jersey.

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After a crash on day five, Vollering lost her yellow jersey in the Tour

Vollering speaks of "one of the toughest day of my career"

"An untold story," Vollering begins her social media post, accompanied by photos from the Alpe d’Huez stage. "This was one of the toughest days of my career. Physically, I was still recovering from a crash 2 days earlier. Mentally, I was weighed down by pressure — from the media, my team, my loved ones, and from myself. Everyone kept asking how I was feeling, and while I tried to stay positive, inside I was scared and uncertain."

Vollering describes the Tour de France Femmes as a "breaking point" for her. "It’s hard to describe what it felt like, but anxiety took over, and my thoughts spiraled. I couldn’t focus. I felt like I was letting everyone down. For the first time, I couldn’t just power through it alone. That’s when I opened up to my teammate (Mischa Bredewold, ed.). Even though I couldn’t fully explain what I was feeling, just saying 'I’m not okay' helped ease the weight I was carrying."

"Mischa didn’t try to fix it or brush it off; she simply stayed with me, reminding me that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed and that I wasn’t alone," Vollering says, praising her former teammate. "That day, I realized how important it is to talk about what we’re going through. Anxiety can make you feel stuck and isolated, but sharing your feelings can be the first step toward relief. Later that day, I got my period. Hormones can amplify emotions, and with the pressure I was already feeling, it was a lot to handle. Sometimes things are just beyond our control."

Read more below the photo.

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Vollering (left) on the Tour stage with Niewiadoma and Paulina Rooijakkers (right)

Vollering is sharing her story to help others

Losing the Tour hit Vollering hard, but she calls her ability to bounce back "one of her biggest wins.” "For me, this might have been my most meaningful personal victory in the entire Tour de France Femmes. To anyone struggling with anxiety or pressure: If you can, talk to someone you trust. Even a small conversation can make a difference. Be kind to yourself. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed, and you don’t need to have it all figured out. Remember, it’s not about fixing everything at once—it’s about taking small steps forward, at your own pace."

She shares her story to support others, especially younger people dealing with pressure and high expectations. "I’m sharing this because I know many, especially young people, carry the weight of expectations and pressure. It’s not easy to talk about these things, but the more we do, the more we can break down the stigma around mental health. We’re all human. We all face battles. And no matter how big or small they seem, they matter. You matter!"

"The fear of losing was bigger than the will to win"

On the Shaping Legends podcast, Vollering shared more about her experiences during the ill-fated Tour. "Heading into the Tour, I was afraid I wouldn’t win again. The pressure was so intense — the fear of losing was bigger than the will to win. That’s why I was so surprised when I claimed the yellow jersey in the Netherlands."

The crash in stage five was the turning point for Vollering, but her focus wasn’t on her place in the standings at the time. "When I crashed, I wasn’t even thinking about the yellow jersey. I was in so much pain. It wasn’t until right before the finish that I thought, ‘Shit, I’m wearing yellow. I’m going to lose it.’"

She suffered a vertebral fracture but stayed on her bike and kept fighting. Mentally, though, she reached a breaking point. That was stage seven. "I had a massive panic attack on the bike before the final climb. It was the worst thing that could’ve happened. I wanted to pull over, throw my bike down, and lie down in the grass. That’s all I could think about. I couldn’t control my breathing — it felt like I was being strangled. I didn’t even know where I was in the peloton. It was actually really dangerous."

The SD Worx-Protime team leader managed to recover: she had reconned the day’s final climb twice, which suddenly put her back at the front. Before she realized it, she attacked. "With one attack, I suddenly had control again. My mind and body reconnected because I could make others suffer again."

After the battle on Alpe d’Huez, the gap to overall winner Niewiadoma was just four seconds. But the loss broke a mental barrier for Vollering: fearing failure accomplishes nothing. "Losing made me realize that. I’ve learned a lot from it, and it will help me in the future. I’ll focus more on how much I want to win, rather than on not wanting to lose."

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